5 posts tagged “funny”
"One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their mothers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the
teacher prodded him about his mother, he replied, Well my mother's an
exotic dancer in a cabaret and takes off all her clothes in front of men and they put money in her underwear.
Sometimes, if the offer is really good, she will go home with some guy and
stay with him all night for money.'
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other
children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, 'Is that really true about your mother?'
No,' the boy said, 'She works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Barack Obama to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.'"
THIS WAS MY REPLY:
"I hate to tell you this, Pops, but I'm a stripper."
Did I mention that my dad is a Mennonite, a son of a Mennonite pastor?
It will be interesting to see if I get any response at all.
Jena Bush got married over the weekend but she did not sign a pre-nup.
Apparently, the family doesn't believe in exit strategies
-Craig Ferguson
When has your first impression of someone turned out to be completely wrong?
Submitted by Mana'olana.
Pip has an office in the same building as my studio. He’s a big burley grumpy looking guy with a cell phone head piece sticking in his ear making him look like a lunatic talking to himself. We were moving in, but he had parked his van centered on two parking places and we had trouble getting the truck unloaded around him. It was a 15 minute parking place and he had been parked there all evening. Then he saw us moving stuff after dark and started asking questions in a really gruff manner. When he realized we were supposed to be in the building, he started going over the lock up routine with me in detail going on and on about how important security is in this neighborhood and the kind of people you have to watch out for. I knew how to lock up and I wasn’t interested in his world view that everyone is a bad guy until proven otherwise. (he’s a PI) I especially didn’t care to hear it from the guy whose van had been parked in my way all evening. The big rude lug nut!
Then some of our early conversations including references to having an affair or illusions to the women who were in love with him or protecting women from men they didn’t want to be around. I really started to think he had some strange complex. Then he told me that I didn’t have to worry about him, that he was happily married. I said ok, and gave him a strange look, but I was wondering “what the heck?”
Later on, I started settling my stuff into the new space and he dropped by. When he discovered that I am a jewelry designer he got really involved in working with me to design earrings for the women in his family. That started to be fun as I realized that he’s not gruff and grumpy at all. Now I think he is a darling funny witty man who really loves his wife deeply. When we get started talking I usually listen and laugh while he fast forwards through a really ADD monologue on everything from politics, religion, creativity to stories from long ago and just the other day. I throw in commentary and questions along the way, which usually sends his rant in a new direction. (It can be frustrating though, because I think I sometimes miss the end of the story because he distracts himself.) Plus, since he’s a Private Investigator (hense the world view) he gets started telling stories or doing impressions and I’m usually laughing till the tears are running down my face. He once took a phone call from a salesmen and answered like he was a little old Spanish guy who barely spoke English. By the time the caller heard me laughing in the background and realized, he had the caller on the carpet because of the inconsistencies in what he had said. Oh, it was funny! So now I realize that he is funny, harmless and maybe a little lonely, but I enjoy him immensely. Here’s to second and third impressions!
