4 posts tagged “family”
Every time I talk to my brother, he tells me about some current conflict between him and the wife. I don't know how to respond sometimes. He’s not happy, and hasn’t been for a long time. His anti-depressant has become an anti-laughter drug. I think he’s not himself these days and I miss family meals with his joking and laughter! I can’t tell him to get off the drug, my instinct is that he was in a dangerous place and then a high school friend committed suicide and I think it sent ripples through him, though all of us. And it is possible that without it he is too near that edge, and I don’t want that. He’s an amazing talent, I could not even consider his loss. I love him fiercely, but I’m sad to see where things are for him. I asked him about leaving, he said there are problems in any marriage. He’s doing what he believes to be the right thing by staying. And they each have their roles. She administers every detail of the calendar and he shows up where he’s told to go. And I just wonder when it’s going to be his turn to have a little happiness. I love my sister-in-law, but I don’t think she’s good for him. She treats him like he’s misbehaving. His kids follow her lead. They are cool kids, he tells me so. But they seem like they’ve been molded into something that feels constrictive from my vantage point, yet they get the freedom to be disrespectful. I do hope that one of these days things settle in a more pleasant place. I love my brother.
In a recent post I talked about letting my family in on the little secret of my political leanings, including the link to my blog. We had a dinner party Saturday evening together to celebrate three birthdays and it was a lovely time with excellent food and the miracle of us all around the same table.
So here are excerpts from the political conversation between my family (who will vote against Barack Obama – not for John McCain) and us (my hubby and I who are voting for Barack Obama this year.)
Riveting isn’t it?!
Yep, that’s it. Those are the highlights. It’s all there. Practically word for word.
My Mom was the only one to actually respond to my email, and her comment was in a phone call before the party. She said her “prayer was that we could all come together in unity as a family for this evening.” Which struck me as quite odd since this isn’t a group that fights with each other. After thinking awhile I chalked that comment up to the fact that I “came out.”
So there you have it. I guess this was one of those town hall meetings that McCain keeps talking about. And I was totally looking forward to hearing their thoughts. Tsk!
The news of the last week has been an interesting journey for us all! I’m sad for a 17 year old girl who has her pregnancy a matter of national headlines. If I were that child, I’d be livid at the one person who made my private life (and some would say, my private mistake) national news – but that person is her own mother.
If I had a five month old special needs child at home, a pregnant seventeen year old daughter, and a son going off to war, I’d be circling the wagons. And there is still another son in there, one who could be lost in the shuffle between all the other dramas. If I were that mom, I’d be gathering the family and closest friends and doing the work of loving each of them and praying like crazy. There’s a wedding to plan for a daugther who is growing up too quicky, and lots of things will be needed for a nursery. And there are a lot of family and friends who will want to see this son who will go away to war, and may not return. And if someone offered me my dream job at just that precise moment, I’d wrestle with the decision. I would never want VP, a heartbeat away from the most powerful job in the world. (But that’s just me.) But if it were my dream job, and it was offered, I’d wrestle with it. And I think I’d reply: "Call me in four years. I want it, but not right now. My family needs me." So, I guess I’m not THAT feminist after all. I just don’t understand how she could accept the offer from McCain at this time. What is it about that job offer that over-rides her desires for her own family? Power? Fame? Influence? I understand sacrifice, but I don't understand this.
Saturday evening we spent by the river in Bridgewater with family. My Aunty and Uncle are back in the country from an extended time in Trinidad. They are in the middle of a mission term there of two years helping the Mennonite church there. And it was our only chance at seeing them while they are back on furlough. So we had a delightful time catching up with them and enjoying my family. We’ve got some exceptional Mennonite cooks in the family and it’s always great to see what they’ve brought from the garden or pantry. We took hubby’s home-made chocolate chip oatmeal cookies garnished with the expensive cookies I brought from work. They were a hit. A cousin’s child nearly grabbed the plate right out of my hand before I got to the table. He’s a cutie cute! (And a rather hyper one after all the cookies he got that evening.)
One pair of cousins are starting the adoption process and working on a domestic adoption through a tiny little Christian adoption agency. Believe it or not, their agency has taken all the legal and intrusive paperwork and ratcheted it up about four notches by trying to have the couple PROVE that they are Christians, very conservative ones. They have to sign a paper that there will never be alcohol in their home. We already had to sign that we would not use corporal punishment. I was listening to her talk and just thinking to myself that what she was describing was soooo over the top. But she just kept saying what a ministry it was. Good for them but I’m not religious enough to want to spend an additional month on paperwork to prove my religion on top of every other aspect of “worthiness” I have to already prove in order to buy a child. With domestic adoption the parents have to be chosen by the birth mom. They’ve only dealt with infertility for three and a half years, not like our fifteen, so they don’t mind all that I guess. I, on the other hand, knew that after all I’ve been through in these fifteen years did not want to put my future at the whim of a fertile sixteen year old. It’s not like there aren’t children out there in the earth just waiting for parents. With our international adoption it won’t be about some Mom choosing us out of a book because she liked my eyes and my hubby’s tan and we happened to be wearing her favorite color or some equally ridiculous and arbitrary attribute beyond our control. So anyway, it was an interesting evening and we enjoyed spending time with family!
Monday morning we were off to the Professional building to paint a suite of offices for my landlord. He’s going to give me free art studio rent in June for painting these offices for him. Hubby put down paper, spackled all the holes and took down switch plates. I rolled the walls and then we both started with trim. We got a good bit done but had to quit in time for another party Saturday evening.
By that time I was really tired but we showed up for the 3:00 Memorial Day party with a group of friends and enjoyed some more great food including pulled pork that had been on the grill for hours. And a friend of mine brought a cake and acted very embarrassed about it in front of me which was funny. It did look rather sad, like the icing had been put on while the cake was still hot and had just melted into the cake. We took a watermelon and the cookies that hubby had made garnished with the expensive cookies I bought from work. They put a couple kites in the air in the back yard while it was sprinkling. That was fun. Then it rumbled real loud and they started to bring down the kites and I hid under the overhang of the house enjoying the cooler temperature and the occasional raindrop on my skin. After we got home I curled up on the sofa and didn’t move much until I woke myself up enough to go off to bed.
