4 posts tagged “dream”

We’ll, time for a little update I suppose.

Tonight we enjoyed watching a stage production of Peter Pan.  A friend of ours played “Mr. Darling” and it was very cute.  This is not a story I grew up with and I knew it only in a peripheral sort of way.  I was surprised with how chauvinistic the roles were, the girl being a mom to all the boys, making the meal, and doing the annual Spring cleaning.  Peter Pan pretending to be the father with his chair and pipe.  And I was also surprised with how the Indian characters were coreographed in the most stereotypical way possible.  I know I’m an uncommon woman, but as I child I never pretended I was a mother or that I was cooking or spring cleaning for anyone – ever!  It wouldn’t have occurred to me.  Now I did pretend I was on stage singing or playing piano for thousands, hosting a cooking show or designing doll clothing or designing the interior of a shoe box with blocks for furniture.  You know, all the normal stuff.  J  (for an artist.)

I’ve started making my own mineral makeup.  It’s an interesting process and I’m learning a lot as I go along.  I managed to get a really good match to my own skin tone, that was surprisingly easy.  Most mineral makeup is far too yellow for my skin but I was able to work it out by adding pigments and then using the back of my hand to match the color.  I’ve got a good eye for color so it wasn’t that hard to get it right.  It seems to me that I should be able to get pretty close for other people’s coloring as well.  And now that I’ve got all the stuff, I might as well make it available to my friends.  I’ve worn the product a couple days and it covers more than any other mineral makeup I’ve worn and that’s kind of interesting.  I guess this formula is a bit more like a concealor than a foundation.  So I’ll keep messing around with the formula for the light coverage and good for your skin qualities that are so cool about mineral makeup.  I refuse to use that Bismuth stuff that is in cheap mineral makeup that is actually an “inorganic” (not a mineral at all) that is just cheap filler and actually known to cause issues for some people.  So I’m fascinated by this for the moment.  We’ll see where it takes me.

I’m laptop computer shopping.  Yeah, it’s time to purchase a computer that will be able to handle the next round of software I’m going to try to get for my business.  I’d love Adobe Photoshop and Dreamweaver, we’ll see if I can pull together that kind of cash.  It’s a big investment and I’m not a professional designer (well, I used to draw logos for a marketing firm but I haven’t done that for a while) so it’s a bit difficult to justify.  However, buying Dreamweaver is certainly cheaper than hiring a web designer who knows dhtml so as long as I can continue to put together all my own websites, then that’s good for me.  I wish I could figure out a way to learn how to code dynamic html websites without having to put out the big bucks!  I’ll keep researching it, it is still possible that some of the features I need are already in the Frontpage software that I already have.  I don’t think Frontpage uses CSS though, so I’ll keep researching that.  I’ve also put in some time researching shopping carts and setting up a website to sell products using PayPal.com.  I’ve giving some thought to a commerce website and exploring some of the other options with that as well.  The wheels, they are a-turning!  If you've been there, done that - pass along any pointers!  (I had a yahoo store for a while and that just isn't what I want.)

I’ve made lots of different kinds of soap lately.  Some of it really turned out beautifully.  (And some of it had to be completely melted down and rebatched.)  I’ve got about ten different kinds now and I’m especially happy with the colors and fragrances and my favorite of the moment is a Milk and Honey bar that I think is especially cute.  I’ll try to take photos and post them one of these days.  I’m really happy with how that adventure is going.  And my soap has been accepted in a local gallery, so that’s kind of cool.  I have tentative word that my alphabet photography has also been accepted there.  So I just need to pack up a bunch of stuff and take it to them and see what happens.

I need to spend a little time with the jewelry again.  I have a wholesale order waiting on enough money to be able to click the “checkout” button.  But I think I’m going to give that some serious thought and maybe go in a different direction altogether.  There are just so many different options with jewelry design that keeping it fresh is really not that hard to do – it’s just a matter of deciding what to explore.  So many ideas, so little time.

The good folks at the Library have invited me to come and do a cake demonstration for them.  They’ve given me an hour and I’m supposed to carve, ice and decorate a cake into the shape of a book and talk to them as I do it.  Then they’ll all eat the cake and that will be that.  It sounds like it could be fun.  Boss Lady told me to think about jokes to tell and ways to make it fun and interesting.  I’ve never really thought about cake decorating as a performance art, so this will be interesting indeed.  Anything for a change of pace I suppose.  Who knows, I may decide that I really like pretending to host a cake decorating show.  J

Well, it’s getting late and the morning has a way of coming round on a regular basis.  So I shall curl up next to my snoring hubby and see where the Dream Giver takes me.

Goodnight foxy voxers

And sweet dreams

I saw her in a crowd of people having a party outside on a warm Summer day.  I knew she was my daughter.  She had brown hair and brown eyes and she looked a lot like her daddy.  We left the group, just the two of us to walk together for a while.  I knew she wasn’t mine yet, but that I could borrow her for a little while.  She came up to about my shoulder and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hers was around my waist.  We walked like that for a while.  As we returned to the group and she slipped away, I woke up from the dream.

I'm putting together a mailing to raise money for our adoption.  Maybe I'll be able to meet this girl I walked with in my dreams.  I'm really looking forward to that.

There was about an hour in my day today that felt electric.  I felt some of the cloud of depression give just a little, and I got a glimmer of hope.  I’d like to say I had a spiritual epiphany that I finally found God in a way that made it all better.  Nope.  He wasn’t lost.  That would be me.  Uh… moving on… 

It all happened in the space of a few moments but we spent hours afterward considering the possible consequences.  Sorry, I’ll have to be rather vague here but what I can say…  SUDDENLY: An invitation to apply for a job at a place where I shop often and spend much moolah followed only a few seconds later by a phone call that brought both of us to a nearly giddy place of contemplating some serious improvement in our financial situation.  Oy!  Just for a second there I had a burst of hope and possibility.  Just for a moment I saw just how seriously sad I am and how much that “stuckness” is draining the life from me, maybe even making me physically ill.  Shocking to see yourself that way, but it was also strangely hopeful. 

So I have a plan. 

I'm going to dream again.  Yes I am!

I’m going to spend some time clarifying my vision – what is it that I really want to see happen here?  What can I possibly discern of what God wants to see happen here?  Do a little dreaming, right furiously in my journal and stare wide eyed into space while my tea grows cold and my dogs nap on the floor by me.  Hmmm…. Sounds yummy!

I’m going to apply for that job.  *giggle!*  Yeah, actually I already have.  (I've applied twice before and came so close...  but not close enough)  But don’t tell anyone...  It’s our little secret.  J  More money and an employee discount that kicks ass and benefits?  For real?  Pinch me!

I’m going to do whatever it takes to get the process rolling on the other opportunity.  No grass growing under my feet there.  No sir!

I’ve been thinking again about the next phase of business for me.  I am going to put some serious thought into that once more, pray a lot, create a plan and then see what I can do to work it on out.  Especially with kids added into the mix…  hmmm… that’s going to be an interesting brainstorming session!  Yeah baby!

And I’m going to get into another writing project.  I wish they did NaNoWriMo any month of the year and at any given time you could log in and write a book with a bunch of other people somewhere around the world.  I’d totally dig that right now.  It helped to have that artificial pressure – otherwise…  uh… what was I sayin? 

To celebrate my happy moment I bought shelves for my laundry room.  So once I get the kitchen backsplash tile project finished (or sooner) I’ll be dragging the chaos out of the laundry room and putting up those shelves and bringing back ORDER.  Hallelujah! 

Hope just feels good all over.   

Ok, so it was a rough night.  I went to bed because I was falling asleep watching whatever it was on TV, so I pried myself up off the sofa, but the dogs to bed and crawled in bed myself.

I dreamt that I was in my childhood home and there was a spot of fire in the counter in the kitchen.  So I took a cup of water from the sink faucet and poured it on the fire.  The small spot doubled in size in reaction to the water and the fire blazed a little like some kind of hot chemical blaze – not like wood fire flame but more of a blue flame.  I did it again only the water was only coming out of the faucet in a trickle… I dumped it on there and the fire spread again.  I looked around for the baking soda, trying to remain calm.  There was the spot in the cabinet where I keep the baking soda – empty.  I grumbled that my husband moved it.  I grabbed my cell phone and dialed 911, only it didn’t work so I had to dial it again.  The fire was spreading.  Fast.  On the phone it looked like I had dialed “911A911.”  I explained the situation to the voice on the other end of the phone, and he said he was going to put me on hold for a minute – a full 60 seconds.  The fire had spread to the wall, it had either gone out or was consuming the wall from the inside out – I couldn’t tell which.  I told him that my kitchen was on fire and spreading rapidly and he’s going to put me on hold?  The response was laughter.  Yeah, laughter.  Lazy, leisurely laughter.  And the laughter sounded like the voice of a man who was cruel to me years ago.  I had to hang up and try again to reach 911!  And I woke up.  

I woke up, wrote the dream in the notebook I keep beside my bed, tried to shake it off and went back to sleep.

I woke up this morning with back pain like crazy and tried to soak it out in the tub and stretch it out.  It feels better now that I’ve been up and moving around. 

What’s that about?!