9 posts tagged “border collie”
My dog bit me tonight. Yeah. Crazy bitch. I was petting her and she started to growl. Then BOOM! I totally didn't see that coming but I guess I should have. So I took her down and sat on her growling ass and returned the favor. I did the full tilt dominance thing until she cooled off.
Honey,
I AM GOING TO BE
The Craziest.
And Meanest.
Bitch.
In My House.
So
Don’t
Even
It doesn’t change the fact that I’m sporting a nice set of toofy marks on my arm.
Grrrrrr
My girls are doing this strange dance that happens only when Misde is in heat. The look at each other with tails up and ears back and prance around each other. It’s very interesting. I wish I spoke “dog” I’m sure this conversation is hilarious!
“Uh… I’m horny!”
“So that’s what that smell is.”
“Yeah, I’m horny and I smell fabulous!”
“Uh… one little problem.”
“Like what?”
“I’m the same gender you are.”
“So?! I’m horny!”
“And if that weren’t enough…”
“You’re stalling”
“Uh… I’ve had my “tonsils” out.”
“What’s your point”
“That is my point”
“What?”
“Alright fine - I have no point!”
“Oh, ok… I’m still horny”
“You do smell nice.”
“I do, don’t I?!”
“Here let me sniff you again.”
“Oh yeah…”
"I'm tired."
"I'm horny."
“I think I’ll have a nap.”
“But… *whine!*”
“Ok, let me sniff you again”
“Ok, here”
“Mmmm, nice!”
“Yeah, and I’m still horny.”
“Good luck with that.”
“Uh… thanks”
“You smell nice”
“So do you.”
“good night”
“whine!”
So Crazy Bitch has struck again. And I’m good and pissed!
Yesterday I got off work a little early and did a little shopping. Then I came home to make sugar cookies. Yeah, I make sugar cookies professionally – at work every day. But I didn’t want to pay the high prices to be able to give my work for gifts. So, as if forty hours of cookie making isn’t enough… I came home and worked until midnight on a delightful batch of sugar cookie snowflakes. I finally turned in, tired right down to my eyeballs.
So I got up this morning, had a little breakfast and went about my routine getting ready for work. Misde kept bugging me this morning, acting strange. I took a minute to pet her and let her know I loved her. She was actually trying to tattle, poor lil angel.
I walked back into the kitchen and there was Hope… looking guilty. I looked at Hope. I looked at sugar cookies… I looked back at Hope and freaked! She slunk off to her crate to be safe from me. I ranted. I raved. I wanted to kick her sorry ass into the next county. But I didn’t. I didn’t even get in one satisfying smack. Grrrr!
There along the counter’s edge was something horrible. MISSING sugar cookies. All along the edge of the counter. I had 96 cookies that only had one more stage to go through and they would have been finished… 96 cookies made for Christmas gift giving… Plenty to spare… That I had stayed up to MIDNIGHT working on…. Only now there aren’t. Crazy Bitch has eaten all that she could reach – all while being perfectly silent about it. She was in complete stealth mode.
And for a brief second I actually thought that dog fighting might not be so bad after all. Ok, moment passed. If anyone wants to take a piece out of Hope, canine or otherwise - I’ll turn Crazy Bitch myself. She's my girl. But right now… Surveying the damage… grrrrrrrr.....
I may not speak to myself for days for actually leaving those cookies within her reach. I actually snubbed myself when I looked in the mirror a moment ago. I will most certainly be passing out dirty looks to THAT DOG if I ever get off work again to see her. I hope it makes her sick, but not really sick, cause I’ll be at work. And I won’t be able to gloat from work, or take her to the vet. How's this: I hope she is REALLY uncomfortable - but not ACTUALLY sick. And – as if working till midnight wasn’t enough, I’ll be making more sugar cookies today at work. And I still need to finish off the cookies for the cookie exchange Saturday morning.
ARGH!
I am so tired. After Misde had her series of seizures last night, I didn’t want her out of my sight. But I had to sleep… Not like I can do anything about it if she has another one anyway. I don’t think I slept well at all. I think most of the night I was kind of listening for any strange sound from her.
So, I went to my first job this morning, did my little routine there and went over to my studio and tried to get my email and stuff and the internet wasn’t working at the building again. I think our internet guy has gone screwy in the head. He changed out a piece of equipment and now we’re having all this trouble… Anyway, just an annoyance.
I went back home and gathered up Misde to take her to the vet. Hope didn’t like the idea of being left behind but she didn’t make it into a drama – so I was very grateful for that. I told her she was not going, and she seemed to understand that. So Misde and I went off to the vet. And after a bunch of tests that seemed to go ok, she said that it did not appear to be rat poison or antifreeze. But if it was rat poison, it would work itself into her liver and kill her over the course of the next week or so. Good grief! Why do we “civilized” humans think its ok to kill rats this way? No more Decon for me, baby. No thanks.
It still doesn’t rule out some other toxin and she also could have epilepsy. And if they put her on the epilepsy medication to keep her from having seizures, she’ll have to take it for life and the medication will eventually cause her kidneys to fail, thus killing her. And my reaction to that is pretty much “hell no!” The vet was not recommending that we do that unless she seizes again. They took her back to give her some fluids because she’s dehydrated and also for some anti nausea thing – which I tried to talk her out of but she insisted. Why give her meds for something she isn’t experiencing? She came to me this morning demanding her breakfast, snarfed it and we never saw it again. She even made the car ride without urping. Oh well, I guess I should have been stronger and more insistent on refusing that medication. The vet really didn’t make the case to support giving her that one. And whatever they did back there in the treatment room got her all spooked. Not cool. So we’re going to keep a very close eye on her and see how it all goes. I really hope and pray this is an isolated event. And I also hope she doesn’t think of the vets as a bad place to go after whatever happened to her there that got her all spooked this morning. And I didn't get out of there cheap - no sir! Ka-ching! Ka-ching! Ka-ching! That is not where that money needed to go right now!
All that before work at the bakery. No one seemed to notice that I had a rough morning and I tried not to take it out on them. The lady who ices my cakes noticed that my hands were shaking. Oh well, so I shake. Life’s a bitch.
Nanowrimo.org? What the heck is that? I don’t think I even know. I haven’t written anything in days. And I was going to try to get ahead for the fact that the in-laws are coming this weekend. It’s not happening. And I’m losing any sort of internal motivation to make it happen. A friend of mine has finished his nano but not his novel. He’s passed the 50,000 mark but still has story to finish up. Wow! I’m so completely floored by how impressive that is. Amazing!
Work – well, I have an order for sugar cookies at work. We have a display of cute baby shower sugar cookies, only we didn’t realize that we no longer have the equipment to make these cookies. Apparently they belonged to the previous cake decorator who took them with her when she left. Which is fine that she took stuff that belonged to her, but we keep finding a little bit of this and that missing. And it keeps slapping BL upside the head. And it’s frustrating to look for equipment that isn’t even in the building.
3:36, and my dog is jerking around in her sleep. That actually could have been one of the smaller seizures. See? Every time my dog twitches I’m going to be thinking – “Oh &%$@! She’s having another seizure.” I think this majorly sucks! Why, why why??!!??
BL is giving me some space in the bakery to put out stuff I’ve made for them to sell on pseudo consignment. So I should really be working at packaging up goodies and making displays and moving in my inventory. And if I had any energy at all right now – that’s what I should be working at. I’d like to have it all in place this weekend for the Thanksgiving crowd. Which means that is what I should be doing right this moment. Which is a royal pain, because there are forty other things I really should be doing this moment also. And I’m exhausted.
3:55 My dog is twitching again. The vet was explaining that there are actually quite a few jerks and twitches a dog does that can actually be seizures. I don’t know whether to make lists of this little stuff and call the vet or only call her if Misde has another grand mal. I don’t know how this is going to end. Which I guess is a good thing. But really!
I saw snowflakes this afternoon - briefly. And then nothing. If we could have enough snow to keep my inlaws safely in their portion of the country - that would be sweet.
Oh well, buck up baby. It's going to be over soon. Maybe not quite soon enough, but soon.
It was a dark and stormy night and my border collie stood accused of the horrible crime of murder.
Uh, yeah…
not exactly.
But sort of.
Yeah, so the neighbor’s Pomeranian got loose and came *under my fence* into my yard to take on my two border collies – four times it’s size. And it did not end well. The neighbors took it to the emergency vet and then decided to put it to sleep.
*Sadness*
I’m sorry for them, I really am. But to be honest I thought it was a horrible creature with a huge yippy mouth and even bigger attitude. When they would tie it outside it would swear at my dogs in its annoying little yippy voice, baring teeth and growling at my house for ages on end.
Whether or not my dogs were paying any attention to it.
And Misde would bark at it briefly then would get bored and walk away.
Anyway, animal control did the research, talked to the neighbors, the vet and the commonwealth attorney. Were they going to take the case to court?
I looked at the Virginia law for dogs deemed “Dangerous.” Merciful days in the morning! Muzzles and cages and a registry so neighbors could find the “dangerous” animals in the neighborhood… special home owners liability insurance (most property insurance companies will not insure a home where they own one of the dangerous breeds.) The list was long, expensive and horrible. If she were charged and found guilty – it would cost us a tremendous amount of money and we’d have to be really cruel to her – I mean really – a muzzle on a border collie who only wants to play play play?!
A muzzle!
On a border collie!
So the animal control officers call and say they have just finished speaking to my neighbor, they noticed that I’m not home, when would I be getting home? Uh, well… I told them to come see me at work. It’s only five minutes or so from my house – they could come right over if they wished.
Then I realized that all the girls at work were going to start to wonder the moment two officers come in to talk to me. Hmmm… And I hadn’t told anyone at work about the event. It’s hard to hear over the mixers and machines and we work in a spread out kind of space with shelving in between so it’s not like I do a lot of story telling at work. So I hadn’t even told them it had happened. And I realized that wasn’t going to work.
So… I went to my boss…
Sheila, the cops are coming for me in a few minutes.”
“What?”
“The cops are coming for me in a few minutes.”
”Whatever for?!”
“Uh, my dog is accused of killing the neighbor’s dog.”
Huge intake of air – “WHAAAAAT?!” “Nooooooooooooooooo!”
“yeah, I’m ok. It happened a few weeks ago.”
It went on like that, they questioned what had happened. As I’m talking I can feel the tension level in my body going through the roof. So I answered everyone’s questions, went back to work kind of abuzz. (Decorating cakes gets interesting when you’re feeling shaky.) The bakery starts to fill up with people and we get a little “rush.” Then two cops in full gear walk in. BL says my name real low and I look up. I motion to them that I’ll be right there. I went to wash my hands real quick and then looked around for a kind of private spot to talk. Well, the place was full so I wasn’t going to get the privacy I wanted but anyway. We sat down at the table and they started to tell me where things were. They talked to the vet and the commonwealth attorney. (The officer is fond of using the phrase “you know” and Uh, No! I don’t know!) So the commonwealth attorney is the person who decides whether or not to press charges. So I’m really trying to contain myself because my tension level is going through the roof. And finally they tell me that they aren’t pressing charges. Whew! He recognized that the incident occurred on MY property, and there may have been some provocation from the Pomeranian. Yah THINK?! So we finished out the conversation, I’m relieved, yadda yadda… They need some information to finish out the file, could I email them photographs of the girls, names and some personal information about me. I walk them to the door. Done, over, whew!
Ok, so I get in the back part of the bakery and I’m bumping into stuff and real shaky. I told the girls how it went and they were all real happy for me. I’m happy for me. I’m happy for "Killer," oops, I mean Misde. So anyway, I had a little fun choosing the photographs to email them of my girls. These are the four photos I chose. They look like such angels in these photographs. You’d almost never know how “dangerous” they can (apparently) be. I am so relieved!
Well, this is our Mamma Border Collie, she's a pretty intense individual. Ironically, she is not the one our neighbors accused of attacking the Pom. Not that she would. Her docile sweet harmless daughter got the honors. Strange! Hope is the full tilt crazy alpha bitch at my house. Well... that is, besides me anyway.
Watch out boy, she'll chew you up; whoa, oh here she comes, she's a maneater".
A few weeks ago our neighbor accused my border collie of chomping up their Pomeranian. Come on, if their dog wandered under my fence (with it’s “beware or dog” sign) to come to play with two dogs four times it’s own size – it’s not going to end well. I don’t know if that makes my dog “dangerous” according to Virginia law or not. It sure makes their dog stupid. But owning a stupid dog is not against the law.
I finally heard back from Animal Control this morning. They’ve checked with the vet who treated the Pomeranian and next they will be talking to the Commonwealth Attorney. They’ll see if the Commonwealth Attorney thinks they need to take it to court based on the dangerous dog statute. I don’t know why it has taken them so long to get back with us, but at least we heard something.
Well, last night after we got home and went to bed, the house grew quiet. I was reading a book in bed, expecting to put it down and quickly doze off any minute. That’s when our oldest Border Collie Hope made an interesting discovery. If you’re biting some itch on your front paw, it’s natural to kick your back paw in sympathy. This makes the tray in the bottom of the crate smack up against the wire frame, which makes a delightfully satisfying noise. The noise reverberates around the laundry room and is therefore transmitted to the entire house by some weird quirk of nature. And if you really itch badly, you can make this noise go on for quite some time. Throw in a whine or a bark here and there, and your human will appear, looking sleepy and annoyed. But hey, human is good when you want out of the crate.
Ok, note from wicked dog owner needs to be inserted here. Hope gets flee (insert long medical word that means she itches) unless we buy frontline and put it on her. At the store Hubby asked for a cheaper alternative. Yeah, the stuff is crazy expensive and you’re supposed to do it once a month. They showed him the $16 stuff and assured him it was the same stuff. Apparently not. So we didn’t mean to be wicked dog parents, just cheap skates. They said it worked just as well. I wish it was their skin itching.
So I got up once hoping that the barking meant she needed a bathroom break. So I let them both outside. One sat in one place and scratched. The other made her rounds around the whole yard, stopping to scratch. I felt horrible. My girls are itching! I put them back to bed. So a few moments later after I’m all snuggling back in my comfortable bed… Hope starts the amplified scratch noise again. More barking.
No sleep for anyone.
So at 1:00 in the morning we are outside in the back yard giving them both a bath, hoping that this will hold them until we can get somewhere to drop an obscene amount of money on dog drugs. Ok, Hope bites. That means hubby is holding the leash – Hope is straining to get away and squirming. Hubby is wearing welding gloves to protect himself from damage from any stray teeth and trying to hold on to her. He’s got a hold of her with the leash and a big paw in a welding glove. And it is my duty to wash the toothy bugger, while staying away from the teeth, the leash, the hubby, the welding glove… and well, it gets tricky. I was holding the hose so I fared better than hubby did. But somehow he managed to get pretty wet. (huh!) But she got much wetter. (I win, I win!)
They both seemed to appreciate the bath actually. I guess they’ve learned that baths are good when they’ve been skunked, maybe a bath with work for this new kind of weird itching torture. Then Misde sat and shivered for a while cause the water was cold, which was both cute and pathetic. But no complaints from her, never a stray tooth. We toweled them off and they shook heartily and then shook again. And again.
Thanks! I needed another shower.
So all four of us went back to bed and finished off the night in comfort. Only the human two were dry. The girls had to sleep in their wet coats. But that’s better than an itchy coat, right? Poooor puppies.
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