18 posts from February 2008

My dog bit me tonight.  Yeah.  Crazy bitch.  I was petting her and she started to growl.  Then BOOM!  I totally didn't see that coming but I guess I should have.  So I took her down and sat on her growling ass and returned the favor.  I did the full tilt dominance thing until she cooled off. 

 

Honey,

I AM GOING TO BE 

The Craziest.

And Meanest.

Bitch.

In My House.

So

Don’t

Even

 

It doesn’t change the fact that I’m sporting a nice set of toofy marks on my arm. 

 

Grrrrrr

I just realized today that I’m really looking forward to bed time story time.  I remember sitting in the old black chair on the lap of either Mop or Pop and listening to stories and being held nice and tight.  Mom would read books like the Chronicles of Narnia and we would all migrate to the same room to listen and beg her to continue when she reached the end of each chapter.  It wasn’t hard at all to convince her that we needed one more chapter. 

 

I remember my grandmother reading stories to me while I paced her carpet.  She had a colorful wool rug that had designs and repeating patterns in it.  It was excellent for covering stains and also for pacing during tense parts of a story.  (She read stories to me that I don’t think my mother would have approved of with murder and mayhem.  She and I loved mysteries.)  I walked the circles in the pattern in straight lines, in diagonals, in circles… around and round I paced while she read to me. 

 

As a teen I read books veraciously.  In middle school I visited the library often and every night devoured an entire book, sometimes reading under my covers with a flashlight until very late in the morning.  I remember how much I enjoyed those escapes into other worlds where I learned lots of things and came across words that I didn’t hear that much in ordinary conversation.  I’m looking forward to sharing those worlds with our children.  And hopefully I can share that desire to learn new things and explore new territory.  Maybe they will share the creativity that springs from a well developed imagination. 

 

I came across an article about Huckabee and the Biblical references he makes in speeches.  He’ll refer to a few smooth stones and a giant who came tumbling down.  And America is baffled by these mysterious and cryptic references that mean nothing to them since David and Goliath have long ago passed from culture, along with much of Christendom.  It isn’t surprising that people who don't read the text don't know what it says.  But what did surprise me was that those references are equally lost on Church members all across the country.  Is it possible that members of congregations all across America don’t even know the stories of the faith?  I’m not a big Huckabee fan, though I like his flat tax ideas.  But that’s not my point.  I want my kids to know the stories of the Bible.  To understand their heritage even if they can’t share my blood.

 

It may seem like a tall order, but I’d also like my children to know about my heritage as a descendant of the Anabaptist movement that came about at the time of the Reformation.  I want them to understand what it means to be a cultural ethnic Mennonite or Amish even if I don’t choose to adopt the dress code that some of our families members do.  I’d want them to know about church history and how the early Anabaptists were persecuted, tortured and killed for their personal exploration of scripture and the resulting transformation of their theology -  and their commitment to community.  I’d want them to understand that there are those who can live in culture but do not share its values and interests.  I would want them to know that they come from people who were quiet enough to hear the voice of God.  Even in a world that flees silence and tranquility in favor of flashy bling and loud noise.  I want them to know who they are, and where they came from.  

 

I doubt I'll cram ALL of that in the heads of those I am given...   But, I am certainly looking forward to bed time stories!

A client came in wanting a cake in the shape of a Porsche with some extra detailing in the sponsor decals.  So I set about building a Porsche.  From chocolate cake and butter cream icing.

 

 

 

Day One:

I spent some time with the small model the client provided.  I treated it like I was building an Architectural model and each quarter inch on the model became an inch on the cake.  It took about 4 hours to get the cake carved and iced with a crumb coat of butter cream icing in the shape of the car.  This was refrigerated overnight and in the morning I had a nice firm surface to work with.

 

 

 

I also created a few things from fondant that needed to dry overnight.  I made a small driver’s side mirror, a tail pipe, door handles, and headlights from grey fondant and left them out to dry.  I also made four tires out of black fondant.  These hardened overnight.

 

Day Two:

I started by carving out a portion of the underbody and removing the cake where the tires would go and creating wheel wells.  Then I iced all of the lower part of the car and wheel wells in black and added the front fenders.

 

 

 

 

The next step was to ice the rest of the cake in yellow so I matched the color in a photograph the client brought in.  I carefully piped on the yellow butter cream and smoothed it around the curves of the car with a palette knife.  It was a time consuming process but it worked out nicely.  Then I rolled out grey fondant for the windows.  This bakery does not use an airbrush so I had to leave the windows plain but I did glaze them to make them shine.  After the windows were on I finished off the roof icing and the body of the car, now it was all about the details.

 

 

 

The next step was to outline the doors and panels of glass and the front and rear hoods.  I put on the fondant headlights and fondant tires with butter cream rims.  The fenders went on next, followed by the lights in front and back and on the sides.  I added the fondant door handles, mirror, and tail pipe after I was sure they were dry enough to stick into the cake without breaking.  I made a fondant license plate for the back and a tiny little Porsche emblem for the front hood.  It was starting to look like a car.  And clients in the bakery were beginning to take notice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day Three:

The basic car was finished, and it was time to deal with the logo decals.  There was quite a list of logos and other details she wanted added to the cake so I had to make sure I didn’t miss anything.  The top got a grocery store logo, the front hood had a car dealer company logo, the back got a tire company logo.  There were two other logos on the rear fenders.  We don’t have a “copy cake machine” (which is like an overhead projector) so I created each of these logos freehand.  The client wanted a number 40 on each door for her son’s 40^th birthday and his name above each door.

 

 

  

 

The final touch was to mix a finely powered silver into an edible medium and paint the chrome on the car with a small artist’s brush.  It’s the kind of thing that is really fun to do because it is a small thing that makes a big difference in how the cake looks.  So the handles, mirror, bumpers, tail pipe and hub caps all got a nice coat of “chrome.”  Even the tiny little “911S” on the back got chrome.

 

 

 

 

I added windshield wipers a little later – after I had taken the last photographs.  At the client’s request I also added some additional detailing to the tiny little 3/8 inch Porsche emblem on the front hood. 

 

 

 

The client picked up the cake on Saturday and asked if there was any way to “petrify” a cake because they wanted to be able to keep it.  She was really pleased with how it turned out and paid the big price tag without even blinking.  Apparently they had no plan to cut it or eat it even though it is delicious chocolate cake inside.  I saw her again this morning and the cake has not been cut.  I assured her that it really was time to cut it and serve it.

 

 

 

 

It took me about 10 hours to create this cake.  The inside is chocolate with white butter cream.  The details are fondant.  The cake would serve about forty people – if they ever cut it.  And we charged her $256.00.  That was an interesting challenge and I enjoyed it.

Well, I didn’t like Simon’s characterization of the guy’s performances as forgettable at the time.  It’s just not a very nice thing to say.  But when I try to think back and remember a single performance from the night when the guys performed… I’m coming up empty.  Sad but true.  I do remember I liked the auzzie, Michael Johns, mainly for being a delight to look at, but also for the voice.  But I remember him more for a Hollywood week performance than for the last one.  Luke Menard is also a delight to behold but I can’t remember him singing and I would not have remembered he was on the show if I hadn't been looking at the AI website.  And Colton Berry who is from Staunton where I now live has done very nicely indeed.  I also like the guy with the long dreads, Jason Castro, but as I watched him singing with the way his hair was pulled back and the song he chose, I for a second thought he was really beautiful - which was a little distracting.  I also remember the guy in the orange suit, but looking at a guy and thinking “Love Boat” is not exactly a winning combination.  Danny Noriega (The Elvis guy) also fascinates me but not in a positive way.  I get the feeling he’s one of those completely self absorbed people always looking in the mirror at his hair.   And that adorable little creature with the all the hair and the sweet girl voice - Garrett Haley – he’s just a beautiful boy, may I please give him a hair cut?!  He looks like he's actualy twelve and lied about his age.  So Simon is right again – the guys were pretty forgettable as far as the music goes.  But I think that Michael Johns is my early fav.

 

And for the ladies!  Mercy me, we’ve got some serious talent represented these days.  My personal favorite is Brooke White with all that curly blonde hair and those teeth.  Girl can sing!  I think Simon just thinks she’s too sweet to survive.  And really, even for a good girl there is sorrow and pain, so I really hope we hear something really full tilt honest and raw from her!  And Syesha is amazing.  What a big mouth she has!  (The better to eat up the competition.  LOL!)  And the little dynamo Ramiele with the tiny body and the big big voice is really amazing.  She got good reviews from Simon and then when the host asks her what her favorite part so far is she said “Hair and makeup!”  Are you kidding me?  You just one of the only compliments from Simon all evening and your favorite part is the staff that makes you LOOK good when the only thing that will win it is if you SOUND good?  Come on girl!  She did look good though.  LOL!  I usually love Joanne, the plus size model, but last night was not her night.  And even though Simon hated Carly, the girl with the tattoo sleve – I think she sounded good.  Not quite steller, but good.

Things I loathe:

• Hearing my alarm in the morning.  Prying open my tired eyes.  And crawling out of that warm spot under the covers. 
• Seeing blood on hubby’s shirt from where the dog brushed against him, finding that she’s got a place on her ear that bled enough to be messy.  Ok, who bit my dog on the ear?!  Wasn’t me…
• Home Study meeting next Monday, my house needs to be spotless which would require plenty of cleaning and I just don’t wanna. 
• Back pain that has me calling a doctor. 
• Trying to find a new doctor that is taking new patients in this area.
• Insurance that won’t let me go to my old dr. 
• Rude receptionists.
• Questions before breakfast.
• repeat #8
• fights with him over #9

 

Things I love:

• Listening to Obama make a speech.  Yeah baby!  So what if it is all icing and no cake, it’s still yum yum yummy!
• Trying out my best Elmo voice as I made an Elmo cake today.
• Laughing like a crazy person over how funny I sound trying to do an Elmo impression.
• Laughing at the people laughing at me doing #2 and #3.
• Fresh hot danish when I get to work. 
• Emails from friends I haven’t heard from in a while.
• Pretty papers and stickers in matching colors and patterns.
• My poochies.
• Funny episode of “Friends” where Joey hits Ross a couple of times and when Ross tries to hit Joey – he hits the post instead and breaks his thumb. 
• Finally being at home after work and band practice.

A lady made a cake order by phone.  And she wanted a really big heart shaped cake.  So we carved one out of a full sheet cake for her.  She was searching for the word she wanted, English was clearly  her second language… so she asked for it to be “perfect.”  We joked about that a lot as the cake was in progress… the elves kept walking by and asking me if it was perfect yet.  No pressure or anything.  So no, it is not perfect, but it looked pretty good.  And they loved it. 

I saw her in a crowd of people having a party outside on a warm Summer day.  I knew she was my daughter.  She had brown hair and brown eyes and she looked a lot like her daddy.  We left the group, just the two of us to walk together for a while.  I knew she wasn’t mine yet, but that I could borrow her for a little while.  She came up to about my shoulder and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hers was around my waist.  We walked like that for a while.  As we returned to the group and she slipped away, I woke up from the dream.

 

I'm putting together a mailing to raise money for our adoption.  Maybe I'll be able to meet this girl I walked with in my dreams.  I'm really looking forward to that.

Today I loathe:

~Getting a co-worker in trouble with Boss Lady for something she was doing that was causing problems for me.  And it is against our policies anyway. 

~ My jeans are almost all in the laundry right now.

~ Sinus headache today, even with Zyrtec in my system.

~ Using TP to blow my nose because I ran out of tissues at work.

~ The taste in my mouth after that last bite of chocolate a few hours ago.

~ Every time he says “Do we have to watch this?”  “I hate this show.”  Especially when there is nothing else on.

~ Waiting to hear life changing news that should have come through sometime last week.

~ Customers who bring back cake and complain that it’s dry.

~ Grumpy election workers.

 

Today I love:

~ Having a puppy sleeping on my feet while I sit on my couch.

~ Having another puppy sleeping on the floor at my feet – that one is snoring.

~ That he made my supper and brought it to me.

~ I’m watching Boston Legal and I love any time the “Alan Shore” character gets in front of a judge and jury.  What a treat!  LOL!

~ Chocolate cake with crème de mint filling and icing.  Yummm…

~ This quote from Dan Quayle: "Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us."

~ This impressive video on YouTube:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kica8hmSdAM

~ Stickers and pretty papers that all match up beautifully and turn into beautiful cards without much work.

~ O(that’s some fine)bama has now passed Clinton in the delegate count. 

~ Voting, cause it wasn't that long about that women weren't allowed to vote. (today was primary voting in Virginia.) 

It is a dark and dreary day here in Virginia.  I think it was supposed to be sleet, but with that delightful global warming it turned to rain instead. 

 

I have officially participated in the Democratic primary voting process here in Virginia, which reminded me of the cattle on the farm when I was a kid.  There were no signs telling us where to go and I’d never been there before.  I got scolded twice, even though I was at the right table.  The grumpy workers finally did take my drivers license to look up my name on the paperwork.  Which is where it always gets interesting.

 

I have an unusual last name.  It’s hyphenated.  Which is not that unusual, plenty of people have hyphenated last names.  (A hyphenated last name guarantees the person will not vote Republican!  LOL!)  And every time I go someplace to vote, I get the same thing.  Is it under “M” or “S?”  Well, my last name starts with the letter “S” (as is clearly visible on my driver’s license – which I had just handed the guy.)  But the geniuses at these events always look me up under the “M” for the part of my last name that comes after the hyphen.  Every time, same thing. 

 

I bet those fifth graders on TV would have known how to look up my last name.

 

Sigh

 

I just love Democracy!  The rule of the lowest common denominator.

 

OH, and if you have not voted yet, just vote for the guy on the top left of your voting screen.  I’ve heard it pronounced a bunch of different ways from “Klenten” “MaKane.” Or “Hug a Bee” But it’s still spelled “O B A M A.”  Ok?  Got it?  Just look for the big “O” and you’ll have it.  *snicker.* 

 

It takes two minutes to vote so you really have no excuse.

Unless your last name is hyphenated.