Goin Bananas

I am making a wedding cake.  It's my first one ever. 

Well, that's not entirely true.  I've made so many wedding cakes I've lost count years ago.  I made my first cake in the late 80's - maybe 88?  Not sure.  And most of the time I'm pretty good at it.  I'm finally out of the bakery so when someone wants a wedding cake I get to bake the thing myself.

Well… this afternoon I started baking the wedding cake.  I'm doing it at church because there are two huge ovens and other great equipment and lots of room.  So tonight I am realizing that I screwed this cake up every which way.  WHAT?!  Am I NEW at THIS?  WHAT IS my problem?!  (Same as usual – my back is killing me!)

So… I made the banana cake and then a little while later realized that I had too many bananas left over.  Hmm… so I cut into the banana cakes and they look fine, it’s just that they don’t have the planned amount of bananas in them.

So… I made the white cake and then a little while later realized (yeah, this sounds familiar so far) that I had the pudding mixes left over.  Hmmm… I had intended to use a white chocolate pudding mix in each batch and there they are sitting on the counter top just laughing at me.  So the white cake is missing its white chocolate, the banana cake is light on bananas.  I think I managed not to screw up the chocolate so far.  But there is still time.

When I arrived at the church kitchen to work there was the Mother of the Groom there with her stuff all over the work space.  Ok, so I had reserved the space but that doesn’t really mean anything.  And the parents of the Groom are paying for the cake.  I’m not a big fan of having the client watch the cake making process.  I'm already feeling a little strange toward her because she's done a number of things to try to change the order away from what the bride asked for.  I had never thought of her as being overbearing or anything but I have observed her making decisions without the input of the bride or groom.  I guess I'm working from the bias that it's their wedding.  But families are different.  I wasn't real keen on starting the wedding cake with her in the kitchen.  I already feel a little like I'm going behind her back because I've chosen to take instruction from the bride rather than then her on a few details.  She kept putzing around and didn’t leave until I was well into the process.  And when I pulled out the olive oil I thought she was gonna freak!  Seriously!  You should have seen her face!!  Olive oil is good for you and I think it does something earthy, rich and marvelous in cake.  Not that I could really tell the difference between a canola and olive oil cake in a blind taste test.  But anyway.  I was glad when she finely left, I found her presence there really distracting.

Oh, did I mention...  I knocked two dozen jumbo eggs off the counter on to the floor - kersplat!  They were still in their boxes so I only lost a few, but boy that is the stupidest feeling in the world. 

I consider baking a cake as part of the creative process as much as anything else I do.  I use a cake mix but I don’t follow the instructions on the box.  Over the years I’ve developed a formulation that has worked very nicely for me.  I add things and subtract things.  All that to say, this is a cake mix cake, but it is better than the usual cake mix result.  (And cake mix cakes are usually better than scratch cakes, they are lighter and the texture is finer.)  Right now I'm feeling protective of that formula.  And the mother of the groom peppered me with questions.  How many times in the course of a conversation does one have to repeat that the details of my recipe will remain a mystery?!  I wanted to just tell her that I wouldn't be answering that question just like I didn't answer her the first five times she asked the question. 

The commercial dish washer was malfunctioning and it was very distracting.  I did’t know what it was doing, but it was really loud and driving me crazy.  I had to call hubby to help with that one.  He walked in, pushed one button and there was instant silence.  Grrrrrr!  I was grateful for the relief from that racket but annoyed that it was that simple.  If he had told me to push that button on the phone – I could have attained the blissful silence myself.   That thing has a three minute cycle.  I guess the dishes that were in there for 30 minutes could be considered clean.   

And the back is killing me again today.  It doesn’t make sense but there ya have it.  And I got the lecture from hubby about how something is seriously wrong with me, the little tiny bit of work I’ve been doing shouldn’t result in this big pain… yibidy yibidy.  ‘Little bit of work’ my a$$.  And it's not that I didn't ask for help this time, I did.  He thinks I’ve got to go back to the doctor and on and on he went.  I’ve been to the Doc and after a whole pile of tests they don’t know any more about it then they did to begin with.  So… what do I have to gain by going back there?  I know I could blow another $1000 on tests, and that’s WITH health insurance.  I’ve been hitting the pain meds, but clearly not enough because tonight I forgot the bananas and dropped the eggs.  And even though I took a cute little blue (not viagra) pill, I'm still really feeling it.  What's a girl to do?! 

Hmmm… just another day here in the loony bin.